Thought this was funny!

Pretty much everyone knows how I feel about the Astros now, but I read this in the Houston Chronicle today about the Yankees coming to town and thought it was the funniest thing. I hope you enjoy as much as I did...

June 12, 2008
The Yankees are coming. We're finally going to matter.
Sit up straight. Brush your teeth. Yes, by all means use the store-bought toothpaste. You can go back to bakin' soda next week. Don't forget to wash your socks. Our little goober-talking, bubba-voting village will be playing host to the second-biggest thing in professional sports, and you need to look your best. The New York Yankees aren't as big a deal as the Dallas Cowboys, but they're close.
Ever heard of them? Sure you have, Virgil. Remember the time cousin Dwayne had that layover on his way to the Nam and told you he'd seen The House That Ruth Built? Turns out, Dwayne really was in Newark and what he thought was Yankee Stadium was where a Waffle House had been torn down. Dwayne was excited anyway. Dang, I miss old Dwayne. I wish he hadn't tried to climb Uncle Leonard's fence with his 20 gauge. Anyway.
This is the biggest thing to hit our town since, well, since Bob Costas changed planes here. Remember how mad he got when Continental didn't have a separate first-class seat for his ego? Drayton is so excited about the Yankees that he jacked up ticket prices. Don't be surprise if there's a mysterious surcharge on beer and nachos. If you ask Drayton about it, he'll say something about how dadgum big guvment made him do it.
Drayton is going to be raking in some serious jack this weekend. He may even turn the AC back on. Smart move. Trust me that you don't want to be near the NY press corps when they're sweaty and irritable. My little radio station is so excited we're going to be cranking away at full capacity, 82 watts.
After the Yankees come in this weekend and the Red Sox at the end of the month, it'll be time to begin putting a wrap on this baseball season. Once the Red Sox leave, the Astros might be buried so deep in the standings they can't see Footer's red hair, and with the Texans preparing to start camp, well, see you in Kissimmee.
This ain't a bad way to go out. Big newspapers will be here. Important people, too. For instance, John Sterling. Now that man has a high opinion of himself, and rightfully so. ESPN might even put The Big Puma's handsome mug on TV if he gets close enough to Jeter. I've got a co-worker that's going to be like Bill Clinton working a rope line.
I'm only mentioning this because you know what those people think of us. They look at you and think of Hee Haw reruns. They look at me and think shrewd, articulate and ready for network TV. But this isn't about me.
I've been to the mountain. I had a child born in New York. I was once on an elevator with Kevin Costner. In other words, I'm not impressed by New York. But you should be. This is your chance to show America you don't eat peas with a knife.